Ukraine

Ukraine
A country of eastern Europe bordering on the Black Sea. Inhabited in early times by Scythians and Sarmatians, it was overrun by a number of conquerors, including Goths and Huns, until the rise of Kiev in the 9th century. The region came under the control of Lithuania in the mid-14th century and later passed to Poland and then to Russia (between 1680 and 1793). After the Russian Revolution an independent republic was proclaimed (1918), but Soviet troops retook control, and in 1922 it became one of the original constituent republics of the USSR, known as the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic. During World War II the republic suffered severe devastation under German occupation and underwent many territorial changes. Ukraine gained its independence following the collapse of the USSR in 1991. Kiev is the capital and largest city. Population: 51,910,000.

Sitting at my desk, in my sound-proof room. Music on, book in hand, roommate out, door locked. Suddenly...
"Tenant? New tenant?"
Someone's in my room.
"Tenant? New tenant?"
I turn around and find a little Ukrainian man standing in my bedroom!
"Tenant? Bulb? Bulb for light?"
What is going on?!? All I can do is stare at this little man and wonder what just happened. How did he suddenly appear... in my bedroom?!?
"Bulb? Bulb for light?"
Bulb.... oh right... One of the lightbulbs is out in the bathroom. Miss Bunkie called to have it replaced, gave them authority to come in and then she left for the afternoon. Way to pull a fast one on me. "How to give your roommate a heart attack 101". Better watch your back... the sheep is mine!

"He is guilty who is not at home."
- Ukrainian Proverb

Grudge

Grudge
To be reluctant to give or admit; a deep-seated feeling of resentment.

I was humbled tonight. I think I need to be humbled every night. I have been bearing a grudge. Someone has hurt and offended me and I have let the unforgiveness win. Every time my mind recalls the situation, I become offended again, hurt again, angry again. Although I feel as though I was perhaps wronged, it is time that I let go, I forgive and I drop the garbage that I'm allowing to cling to me.

We've heard it said, that the only person we're hurting is ourselves. There is no point in holding a grudge. Nothing is being solved by carrying around a hardened heart. Sometimes, even if we truly believe that we are not in the wrong, we may still need to fess up and say sorry. Sorry for this attitude. Sorry for the lack of grace. Sorry for my pride. Sorry for not even trying to understand. Sorry for replaying the hurt you caused me so long ago.

I once read that while you're carrying a grudge towards someone, they're out dancing. Absolutely nothing is accomplished in letting hurt win. I have no idea how far rooted this is, not only in myself, but in others as well. Perhaps my small act of saying sorry will encourage forgiveness to win. And wow - what a release to finally let it go!

"There are some who bear a grudge even to those that do them good."
- Bidpai

Lifesong

Lifesong - Casting Crowns

Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You

Fingerprint

Fingerprint
An impression on a surface of the curves formed by the ridges on a fingertip; a distinctive or identifying mark.

I was sitting in my Geology class listening to my professor. She has an English accent and curly pink hair - yes, pink. She was explaining the process of which mountains are formed. Sometimes the class seems rather elementary... Ultimately, mountains and other land forms are created by great pressure. This pressure occurs over time and throughout billions of years the formation of the Earth's great marvels are created. Huh. This all seems very logical but somehow contradicts the knowledge inside of me. I spent the rest of the class uncomfortably jotting notes about facts that seemed to missing the biggest part of the story.

Why do we always have to question why things are the way they are? Wouldn't it just make sense to finally submit to the mysteries? I think that there comes a point when we are just going to have to stop asking why.

As for Geology, I'll learn the facts needed to pass the exams but I have the ultimate answer that satisfies the questions about this world. That great pressure that has formed this earth - simple of course! It is no more than the fingerprint of God. He has left His impressions upon the biggest mountains to the dimples on our cheeks. Isn't it incredible to imagine Him working through the earth with such precision and care, placing everything in its specific and perfect place? How important it is to find His beauty within everything and acknowledge the great lengths He has done to make our world so amazingly wonderful!

"I want a fingerprint of my own, that's all I want. I just want some substance to my existence."
- Lisa Marie Presley

Dramatic

Dramatic
Sensational or forceful in appearance; thrilling in effect.

My parents left this morning. They were here for a week and we all had a merry time. Quite helpful they were, hanging pictures, buying new accessories, taking out the trash, etc. My mom actually made us some decorative side curtains to "dramatize" the living room. Wow! My funny orange chair and the $1.00 painting of Piccadilly Circus are now a special part of the new dramatic living room scenario. We set everything up in the evening and when I woke up to it in the morning, it was as though I had entered a bright new apartment altogether. Funny how a bit of color can alter the atmosphere.

The drama quickly spread from living room decorations to weeknight activities. I must admit that the drama has mostly been committed by my ever so dramatic roommate. I guess its not fair to go into the girly details, but it is worth you heckling her for them! T'was an enjoyable week in that regard. Lesson learned: no matter how much we think we have the future figured out - plans will change - guaranteed!

"Drama is life with the dull bits cut out."
- Alfred Hitchcock

Fly

Fly
To rise in or be carried through the air by the wind; to pass by swiftly.

Today was perhaps a day of great revelation. I am the kind of person who tries my hardest to mend things, make it all better and find the joy in every situation. Lately, I have had a hard time doing just that. How can this be mended? Can I make it better and where is the joy in this moment? All other problems have come to a great conclusion - a lesson well learned. This seems as though it will never change.

I miss her. I miss her a lot. I find myself thinking of her all the time. I constantly recall the first time we met, the giggles in the forrest and that instant bond. I replay the last time we hung out, the last time we laughed, the last time we cried with one another. I take guesses at the last song she listened to, the last thought in her mind, the last instant that made her smile.

Bliss is found when my thoughts escape this world and dive into her new world. Incredible! Who has she met? Has she danced among the angels or is she still bowing at His feet? Does the Lord allow her to look in on us? How she must comprehend things that we have yet to even contemplate. I look forward to the day, that one day, when she meets me there and guides me along the golden pathway.

So, my great revelation. This in fact cannot be fixed. Mending can take place and joy will always be found, but "fix" - no. Life has been altered and will remain altered. A piece is forever going to be missing. But you know what... that's ok. She left a mark upon my life that can never, or will never, be replaced. This mark is hers and I embrace it for all that it is. I miss her. I miss her a lot. But that's ok.

"To a land where joys will never end I'll fly away."
- Albert E. Brumley

Thanks

Thanks
Grateful feelings or thoughts.

Lately God and I have been having many a chats. In the middle of our latest and greatest I was quickly silenced. Here I was, going on and on about my woes and worries. Very calmly the Lord reminded me that He already knew it all. It was not because I had sobbed my way through these concerns all week, but because He is aware of my heart more than I am myself. What a perfect reminder and such a divine moment.

So - my response. I even surprised myself. I lifted my chin and agreed to praise my God for the small things. The things that I keep forgetting to be thankful for. That sure put things into proper perspective. I thanked Him that I had slept for more hours than usual without disruption or waking up. I thanked Him for providing me with kindness and smiles from strangers. I thanked Him for giving me such a patient roommate. I thanked Him for reminding me of the silliest memories - just to make me giggle out of nowhere. I thanked Him for such a loving family that calls for no particular reason - just to make sure I had a good day. I thanked Him for the bit of sun that was trying to escape the clouds and then I thanked Him for being Him, all that He is and all that I tend to miss day by day.

Afterwards I felt released, comforted and as though that bit of joy had snuck its way back inside. I hope to keep my eyes focused on what's important. I don't want to miss out on all the little things that make the big things so fantastic.

"Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere aliens there."
- A.J. Gossip

Cold

Cold
Feeling no warmth; uncomfortably chilled.

Cold is a relative term. I remember going to Miami for a Christmas vacation when I was 14 years old. My brother and I could not get enough of the beaches or the pool, and as we lounged in the hot tub in the evenings the security guards would come and visit, in their winter coats, mittens and scarves. They found it insane that we would walk around barefoot and in bathing suits as we thought they must be crazy to be dressed as though there was an expected snowstorm in the forecast.

Today is cold. It is definitely a slippers and hoodies kind of day. Although, we still have the windows cracked open... My dad called last night just after he had made a fire in the basement. The snow is still falling and the streets are covered in ice. So, even though its "cold" over here, I'm willing to take it rather than the "cold" back home... although, the Miami "cold" is more than welcome to join us.

"As the day lengthens, so the cold strengthens."
- Spanish Proverb